85 lines
3.4 KiB
Markdown
85 lines
3.4 KiB
Markdown
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# Fun Relationship Questions Research Notes v2
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This research note updates the Closer daily question guides after reviewing modern couple apps, conversation-card games, date-night question lists, and relationship research summaries.
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## Main Takeaway
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Fun relationship questions work when they feel like a small playable moment.
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They are not just "warm prompts". They use choice, humor, tiny missions, preferences, memories, flirtation, and low-pressure honesty.
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## What Good Examples Have in Common
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* They are quick to answer.
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* They create a tiny story or choice.
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* They ask about favorites, memories, date ideas, silly preferences, attraction, or what sounds good now.
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* They give permission to be playful, weird, honest, or flirty.
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* They avoid sounding like therapy unless the product is clearly built for therapy.
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* They do not make the relationship feel like work.
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## What Closer Should Copy As A Pattern
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Do not copy outside questions.
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Copy these patterns:
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* "Would you rather" choices
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* fake awards
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* tiny missions
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* snack drafts
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* date-night picks
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* silly debates
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* comfort-show or music choices
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* flirty low-pressure picks
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* first memory or favorite memory prompts
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* small adventure choices
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* "what should we try tonight" prompts
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## What Closer Should Avoid
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* chores pretending to be romance
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* bedtime logistics
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* household admin
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* therapy words
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* generic wellness phrasing
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* vague answers like "quality time"
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* awkward domestic answers like "the good blanket saved"
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* options that do not all answer the same prompt
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## Specific Guide Changes Made
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* Added a research-informed fun rules section.
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* Added required daily game mechanics.
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* Added stronger option checks.
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* Added a research pass before writing daily packs.
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* Added a second sample gate requiring 8 of 10 sampled questions per weekday to feel fun, sweet, flirty, silly, date-like, or game-like.
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* Added metadata fields for `content_policy` and `research_note`.
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## Sources Reviewed
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* Paired: https://www.paired.com/
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* Gottman Love Maps: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-sound-relationship-house-build-love-maps/
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* Teen Vogue couples questions: https://www.teenvogue.com/story/145-questions-for-couples-that-are-always-worth-asking
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* Guardian on conversation cards: https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2024/feb/23/conversation-starters-card-games
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* GQ on Esther Perel's conversation game: https://www.gq.com/story/esther-perel-card-game
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* Verywell Mind spicy questions: https://www.verywellmind.com/spicy-conversation-starters-8737188
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* Partnership through Play research: https://arxiv.org/abs/2505.09509
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## Gap Found After v6
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The v6 guide improved fun, but still left two gaps.
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First, it did not force patch discipline strongly enough. A writer could mark a few weak questions and then rewrite far more than needed. Future guide versions must require `fix_marked_ids_only` unless a mass rewrite exception is documented.
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Second, it did not clearly separate fun from random. A pack can avoid therapy voice but drift into snack overload, fake award overload, or childish nonsense. Future daily packs must stay playful and adult, not random for its own sake.
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## Added In v7
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* Patch mode is required by default.
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* Passing questions must stay frozen.
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* Mass rewrites require a documented over-60-percent shared failure.
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* Every marked question needs a fix scope.
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* Fun but grounded is now a gate.
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* The option answer test is now required.
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* Remaining hard flags must be 0 before production-ready.
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