Closer/seed/questions/FUN_RELATIONSHIP_QUESTIONS_RESEARCH_NOTES.md.md

Fun Relationship Questions Research Notes v2

This research note updates the Closer daily question guides after reviewing modern couple apps, conversation-card games, date-night question lists, and relationship research summaries.

Main Takeaway

Fun relationship questions work when they feel like a small playable moment.

They are not just "warm prompts". They use choice, humor, tiny missions, preferences, memories, flirtation, and low-pressure honesty.

What Good Examples Have in Common

• They are quick to answer.
• They create a tiny story or choice.
• They ask about favorites, memories, date ideas, silly preferences, attraction, or what sounds good now.
• They give permission to be playful, weird, honest, or flirty.
• They avoid sounding like therapy unless the product is clearly built for therapy.
• They do not make the relationship feel like work.

What Closer Should Copy As A Pattern

Do not copy outside questions.

Copy these patterns:

• "Would you rather" choices
• fake awards
• tiny missions
• snack drafts
• date-night picks
• silly debates
• comfort-show or music choices
• flirty low-pressure picks
• first memory or favorite memory prompts
• small adventure choices
• "what should we try tonight" prompts

What Closer Should Avoid

• chores pretending to be romance
• bedtime logistics
• household admin
• therapy words
• generic wellness phrasing
• vague answers like "quality time"
• awkward domestic answers like "the good blanket saved"
• options that do not all answer the same prompt

Specific Guide Changes Made

• Added a research-informed fun rules section.
• Added required daily game mechanics.
• Added stronger option checks.
• Added a research pass before writing daily packs.
• Added a second sample gate requiring 8 of 10 sampled questions per weekday to feel fun, sweet, flirty, silly, date-like, or game-like.
• Added metadata fields for content_policy and research_note.

Sources Reviewed

• Paired: https://www.paired.com/
• Gottman Love Maps: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-sound-relationship-house-build-love-maps/
• Teen Vogue couples questions: https://www.teenvogue.com/story/145-questions-for-couples-that-are-always-worth-asking
• Guardian on conversation cards: https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2024/feb/23/conversation-starters-card-games
• GQ on Esther Perel's conversation game: https://www.gq.com/story/esther-perel-card-game
• Verywell Mind spicy questions: https://www.verywellmind.com/spicy-conversation-starters-8737188
• Partnership through Play research: https://arxiv.org/abs/2505.09509

Gap Found After v6

The v6 guide improved fun, but still left two gaps.

First, it did not force patch discipline strongly enough. A writer could mark a few weak questions and then rewrite far more than needed. Future guide versions must require fix_marked_ids_only unless a mass rewrite exception is documented.

Second, it did not clearly separate fun from random. A pack can avoid therapy voice but drift into snack overload, fake award overload, or childish nonsense. Future daily packs must stay playful and adult, not random for its own sake.

Added In v7

• Patch mode is required by default.
• Passing questions must stay frozen.
• Mass rewrites require a documented over-60-percent shared failure.
• Every marked question needs a fix scope.
• Fun but grounded is now a gate.
• The option answer test is now required.
• Remaining hard flags must be 0 before production-ready.