26 KiB
Closer Question Content Guide
Purpose
This guide defines how Closer question packs should be written, reviewed, and validated.
Closer is a private couples app. The questions should help two people feel closer through honest, warm, simple conversation. The app should not sound robotic, clinical, cheesy, judgmental, or like therapy homework.
Use this guide before writing or rewriting any question JSON file.
1. The Closer Voice
Closer should sound:
- warm
- private
- plainspoken
- emotionally honest
- lightly playful when appropriate
- easy to answer
- respectful of both partners
- safe and non-pressuring
Closer should not sound:
- robotic
- overly formal
- fake-deep
- preachy
- judgmental
- clinical
- like a therapist worksheet
- like a corporate wellness app
- sexually pushy
- repetitive
- awkwardly generated
Voice rule
A good Closer question should sound like something a real person could comfortably ask their partner.
Bad:
What boundary around money boundaries would help you feel respected?
Better:
What money boundary would help you feel more respected?
Best:
What is one money habit we could agree on that would make things feel calmer between us?
2. Core Writing Standard
Every question should pass this test:
ECHO Would a real couple actually answer this?
ECHO Is it clear in one read?
ECHO Does it sound natural out loud?
ECHO Does it invite honesty without blaming either partner?
ECHO Does it fit the pack topic?
ECHO Does it avoid sounding like AI generated filler?
If the answer is no, rewrite it.
3. Product Goal
Questions should create moments like:
Oh, that is easy to answer.
That actually sounds like us.
I never thought to ask that.
That feels safe to say.
That could start a good conversation.
That makes me want to see my partner's answer.
Questions should not create moments like:
What does this even mean?
Why is this worded so strangely?
This feels like therapy homework.
This sounds too intense.
This sounds too sexual too fast.
This feels repetitive.
This makes me feel accused.
4. Category Purpose
Every pack needs a clear purpose.
Before writing a pack, define:
SET PACK_NAME=
SET PACK_PURPOSE=
SET USER_FEELING=
SET RELATIONSHIP_OUTCOME=
SET FREE_VALUE=
SET PREMIUM_VALUE=
Example:
SET PACK_NAME=Date Night
SET PACK_PURPOSE=Help couples plan, enjoy, and remember time together.
SET USER_FEELING=Playful, wanted, relaxed, connected.
SET RELATIONSHIP_OUTCOME=More intentional time together without pressure.
SET FREE_VALUE=Easy, fun, low-pressure date questions.
SET PREMIUM_VALUE=Deeper romance, planning preferences, rut-breaking, and memory-making prompts.
5. Question Depth Levels
Use depth intentionally.
Light
Light questions should be easy, fun, and low-pressure.
Examples:
What is a simple date we could do with almost no planning?
What snack would make a movie night feel complete?
Would you rather go out for dessert or stay in with a blanket?
Medium
Medium questions should reveal preferences, needs, feelings, or patterns.
Examples:
What makes a night together feel special instead of routine?
What helps you feel like I really want to spend time with you?
What is one thing that would make date night easier for us to follow through on?
Deep
Deep questions should invite vulnerability without pressure or blame.
Examples:
When have you felt most wanted by me, and what made it feel that way?
What kind of attention from me makes you feel closest?
What do you miss about the way we used to spend time together?
Depth rules
ECHO Light questions should not feel shallow or useless.
ECHO Medium questions should not feel like a confrontation.
ECHO Deep questions should not feel like a trap.
ECHO Sensitive questions should never pressure a partner to disclose, forgive, explain, or perform.
6. Question Types
Each question type should have a purpose.
written
Use for stories, memories, reflection, emotional honesty, and open-ended answers.
Good written examples:
What is one small thing I do that makes you feel cared for?
What is a memory of us that still makes you smile?
What is something you wish we made more time for?
Avoid written questions that are too vague:
How can we deepen our connection?
Better:
What is one thing we could do this week that would make us feel more like a team?
single_choice
Use for preferences and simple decisions.
Good single-choice example:
{
"type": "single_choice",
"text": "Which kind of date sounds best this week?",
"options": [
{ "id": "cozy_at_home", "text": "Cozy at home" },
{ "id": "dinner_out", "text": "Dinner out" },
{ "id": "something_playful", "text": "Something playful" },
{ "id": "something_outside", "text": "Something outside" },
{ "id": "surprise_me", "text": "Surprise me" }
]
}
Rules:
ECHO Options should be short.
ECHO Options should not overlap too much.
ECHO Options should sound like real choices.
ECHO Avoid more than 6 options unless truly needed.
multi_choice
Use when more than one answer can be true.
Good multi-choice example:
{
"type": "multi_choice",
"text": "What helps you feel relaxed on a date with me?",
"options": [
{ "id": "no_rushing", "text": "Not feeling rushed" },
{ "id": "phones_away", "text": "Putting phones away" },
{ "id": "good_food", "text": "Good food" },
{ "id": "easy_conversation", "text": "Easy conversation" },
{ "id": "physical_affection", "text": "Physical affection" },
{ "id": "clear_plan", "text": "Having a plan" }
]
}
Rules:
ECHO Multi-choice prompts should say or imply that multiple answers are okay.
ECHO Options should not shame either partner.
ECHO Include practical and emotional options when possible.
scale
Use for comfort level, closeness, energy, readiness, satisfaction, or frequency.
Good scale example:
{
"type": "scale",
"text": "How much do you feel like we need a real date soon?",
"scale": {
"min": 1,
"max": 5,
"min_label": "Not much",
"max_label": "Very much"
}
}
Rules:
ECHO Scale labels should be gentle and neutral.
ECHO Do not make the low end sound bad or shameful.
ECHO Scale questions should measure one thing only.
Bad:
How badly are we failing at making time for each other?
Better:
How much would some intentional time together help us right now?
this_or_that
Use for fast, playful, low-pressure choices.
Good this-or-that examples:
Planned date or spontaneous date?
Dress up or stay cozy?
Cook together or order in?
Sunset walk or late-night drive?
Rules:
ECHO This-or-that prompts should be quick.
ECHO Avoid choices that imply one partner is wrong.
ECHO Best used in fun, date, intimacy, home, and lifestyle packs.
7. Free vs Premium Strategy
Free questions should prove the app is worth using.
Premium questions should feel deeper, more specific, more personalized, more playful, or more valuable.
Free questions should be:
ECHO Easy to answer.
ECHO Warm and useful.
ECHO Good enough to create trust.
ECHO Low-pressure.
ECHO Representative of the pack.
Premium questions should be:
ECHO More specific.
ECHO More thoughtful.
ECHO More emotionally useful.
ECHO More creative.
ECHO More likely to start a meaningful conversation.
Premium must not be only “more of the same.”
Bad premium strategy:
Free: What date sounds fun?
Premium: What date sounds really fun?
Better premium strategy:
Free: What is a simple date we could do this week?
Premium: What kind of date would make you feel pursued, not just scheduled?
8. Banned or Overused Phrases
Avoid these unless there is a very good reason.
What boundary around...
hold space
emotional container
relationship dynamic
intentional intimacy
deepen our connection
in this season
needs met
love language
safe space
show up for you
lean into
create space for
feel seen and heard
navigate conflict
honor your needs
These phrases are not always wrong, but they quickly make the app sound generic or clinical.
Use natural language instead.
Instead of:
How can I hold space for your needs?
Use:
When you are having a hard day, what helps you feel supported by me?
Instead of:
How can we deepen intentional intimacy?
Use:
What is one small thing that makes you want to be closer to me?
9. Tone Rules by Pack Type
Fun packs
Should feel light, playful, and easy.
Use:
What is a tiny adventure we could do without spending much?
What inside joke of ours still makes you laugh?
What would make an ordinary night feel more fun?
Avoid:
How can we optimize shared leisure experiences?
Date Night packs
Should feel romantic, playful, practical, and low-pressure.
Use:
What kind of date would feel easy but still special?
What would make you feel like I planned the night with you in mind?
What is one date we keep talking about but never actually do?
Avoid:
What date structure would best support our connection goals?
Boundaries packs
Should feel respectful, calm, and non-accusing.
Use:
What is one thing you wish we handled more gently?
When you need alone time, what helps you feel understood instead of distant?
What is a small boundary that would make our home feel calmer?
Avoid:
What boundary around boundaries would support emotional safety?
Conflict packs
Should feel safe, repair-focused, and not blaming.
Use:
When we disagree, what helps you stay open instead of shutting down?
What is one thing I can do during an argument that would help us slow down?
What helps you feel like we are on the same team again?
Avoid:
What do I always do wrong during conflict?
Trust packs
Should feel careful, honest, and non-punishing.
Use:
What small action helps you trust me more?
What makes an apology feel real to you?
What helps you feel reassured without feeling like you had to ask too much?
Avoid:
What have I done to make you unable to trust me?
Sex, desire, and physical intimacy packs
Should feel adult, consent-based, respectful, optional, and never pushy.
Use:
What kind of affection helps you feel wanted without feeling pressured?
What helps you feel comfortable talking about desire with me?
What is one way I can make physical closeness feel safer and more relaxed?
Avoid:
What should I do to make sure you give me more sex?
What fantasy do you have to tell me tonight?
Why do you not want me more?
Sensitive packs should include:
ECHO Consent-first wording.
ECHO No pressure.
ECHO No shame.
ECHO No assumptions about gender roles.
ECHO No assumptions about sex drive.
ECHO No coercive language.
ECHO No questions that pressure disclosure of trauma.
Sex / Identity Targeting Rule
Some Closer packs are general relationship packs. Some packs, especially Desire Sync and sexual preference packs, may need identity-aware filtering.
Use the sex field carefully.
Default Rule
Use:
"sex": "neutral"
when the question can apply naturally to any adult partner.
Most questions should be neutral when the same wording works for everyone.
Good neutral examples:
What kind of kiss makes you forget what you were saying?
What kind of flirting gets your attention fastest?
What helps you feel comfortable saying what you want?
What kind of touch makes you melt the quickest?
When to Use Female or Male
Use:
"sex": "female"
or:
"sex": "male"
only when the app intentionally filters questions by the user's selected identity and the question is truly written for that identity or body context.
Do not mark a question female or male just because the pack is sexual. A lot of sexual preference questions can stay neutral.
Do Not Create Lazy Duplicates
Do not create female/male duplicates unless the wording, answer options, or body-context genuinely needs to be different.
Bad:
Female: What kind of kiss turns you on?
Male: What kind of kiss turns you on?
That should be one neutral question.
Better:
Neutral: What kind of kiss makes you want more?
Use targeted questions only when they add real value.
Avoid Gender Stereotypes
Do not assume:
- Men always want more sex.
- Women always need romance first.
- Men always lead.
- Women always receive.
- One partner is dominant because of gender.
- One partner is shy because of gender.
- Desire works the same way for everyone in a gender group.
Bad:
Male: How often do you need sex to feel loved?
Female: How can your partner make you feel safe enough to want sex?
Better:
Neutral: What helps you feel wanted without feeling pressured?
Neutral: What helps you move from daily stress into desire?
Same-Sex and Nonbinary Safety
Even if the app currently asks users to identify as male or female, question wording should avoid making couples feel excluded.
Do not assume every couple is male/female.
Do not assume one answer belongs to “the woman” and another belongs to “the man.”
If a question can work for any couple, keep it neutral.
Recommended Mix for Sexual Preferences
For sexual_preferences.json, use this as the default content mix unless the app logic requires something different:
70–80% neutral
10–15% female-targeted
10–15% male-targeted
The neutral questions should carry most of the pack because they work across more couples.
The female/male questions should only be used where targeting makes the experience better.
Required Claude Rule
Before rewriting sexual_preferences.json, Claude must verify how the app uses the sex field.
Claude should check:
- How users select or store sex/gender/identity.
- Whether Desire Sync filters by
sex. - Whether the app supports
neutral,female, andmale. - Whether same-sex couples receive usable questions.
- Whether both partners can receive neutral questions.
- Whether female/male questions are hidden from users they are not meant for.
- Whether changing all questions to neutral would break intended Desire Sync behavior.
Claude must not remove female/male targeting unless the product owner confirms that neutral-only is the intended design.
Claude must not create female/male questions unless the app filtering logic supports them.
Safe Values
Allowed sex values:
neutral
female
male
Do not invent new values unless the app schema is updated first.
Final Rule
Use neutral by default. Use female or male only when it is intentional, supported by app logic, non-stereotyped, and genuinely improves the question.
10. Safety Rules
Closer is not therapy, counseling, crisis support, or medical advice.
Questions must not:
ECHO Encourage staying in unsafe relationships.
ECHO Pressure forgiveness.
ECHO Minimize abuse.
ECHO Encourage sexual pressure.
ECHO Ask users to disclose trauma before they are ready.
ECHO Diagnose a partner.
ECHO Tell a partner what they owe.
ECHO Encourage monitoring, control, or isolation.
Abuse-sensitive rule
Avoid questions that frame controlling behavior as a normal boundary.
Bad:
What rule should we have about who your partner can talk to?
Better:
What helps you feel secure in our relationship while still respecting each other's independence?
Consent rule
Bad:
How can I get you to be more physically affectionate?
Better:
What kind of affection feels good to you when you are open to closeness?
11. Wording Rules
Keep questions short
Aim for 8 to 22 words when possible.
Long questions are okay only when the topic needs softness or context.
Ask one thing at a time
Bad:
What boundary do you need around family, money, friends, work, and rest so you feel loved and respected?
Better:
What family boundary would make our relationship feel more protected?
Avoid stacked emotional words
Bad:
What would help you feel safe, seen, valued, loved, respected, and emotionally connected?
Better:
What helps you feel respected by me?
Avoid vague “more” questions
Bad:
How can we be more connected?
Better:
What is one thing we could do tonight to feel closer?
Avoid blame
Bad:
What do I do that makes date night feel bad?
Better:
What tends to make date night harder for you to enjoy?
12. JSON Quality Rules
Every JSON file should pass these checks.
ECHO [ ] Valid JSON.
ECHO [ ] Category id matches file purpose.
ECHO [ ] Category title sounds user-facing.
ECHO [ ] Category access matches actual free/premium strategy.
ECHO [ ] Metadata counts match actual question counts.
ECHO [ ] All question IDs are unique.
ECHO [ ] All question texts are unique.
ECHO [ ] No near-duplicate blocks.
ECHO [ ] Type counts match metadata.
ECHO [ ] Free/premium counts match metadata.
ECHO [ ] Depth values are valid.
ECHO [ ] Access values are valid.
ECHO [ ] Options have unique IDs inside each question.
ECHO [ ] Option IDs are neutral and clean.
ECHO [ ] Scale labels are present when needed.
ECHO [ ] No malformed keys like m a x _ l e n g t h.
ECHO [ ] No placeholder text.
ECHO [ ] No accidental old gendered IDs unless intentionally used.
Recommended access values:
free
premium
Recommended category access values:
free
premium
mixed
Recommended depth values:
light
medium
deep
Recommended question types:
written
single_choice
multi_choice
scale
this_or_that
13. Pack Structure Recommendation
For a 250-question pack:
SET TOTAL_QUESTIONS=250
SET FREE_QUESTIONS=75
SET PREMIUM_QUESTIONS=175
SET WRITTEN=150
SET SINGLE_CHOICE=40
SET MULTI_CHOICE=20
SET SCALE=25
SET THIS_OR_THAT=15
This structure is acceptable if the current app expects those counts.
But quality matters more than exact counts. If a pack cannot support 250 good questions without filler, reduce the pack or split it.
14. Content Batching Process
Do not write all 250 questions in one creative pass.
Use this process:
ECHO Step 1: Define pack purpose.
ECHO Step 2: Define subtopics.
ECHO Step 3: Write 40-50 high-quality questions.
ECHO Step 4: Review tone and repetition.
ECHO Step 5: Write the next batch.
ECHO Step 6: Add choice, scale, and this-or-that questions.
ECHO Step 7: Assign free/premium.
ECHO Step 8: Assign depth.
ECHO Step 9: Validate JSON.
ECHO Step 10: Read the full file like a user.
15. Subtopic Planning
Each pack should have subtopics to prevent repetition.
Example for Date Night:
easy dates
low-cost dates
at-home dates
going out
planning preferences
romance style
fun and play
food and drinks
music and movies
seasonal dates
surprises
feeling wanted
getting out of a rut
after-kids / busy life
date-night stress
memories
future date dreams
Example for Boundaries:
alone time
phone privacy
social media
family involvement
friendships
money
work time
rest
chores
home space
conflict
tone of voice
physical affection
private conversations
parenting/family roles
emotional bandwidth
plans and scheduling
personal belongings
sleep
stress
16. Repetition Check
A pack fails if it has blocks like this:
What boundary around alone time would help you feel respected?
What boundary around phone privacy would help you feel respected?
What boundary around family involvement would help you feel respected?
What boundary around friendships would help you feel respected?
Instead, each question should have its own angle.
Better:
When you need alone time, how should I respond so it does not feel personal?
What phone privacy boundary would help us feel trusted instead of watched?
How involved should family be in decisions that affect just the two of us?
What helps friendships feel healthy without making our relationship feel pushed aside?
17. Human Read-Aloud Test
Before finalizing, read 25 random questions out loud.
Reject questions that:
ECHO Sound stiff.
ECHO Sound embarrassing for the wrong reason.
ECHO Sound like a therapy script.
ECHO Sound too much like another question.
ECHO Take too long to understand.
ECHO Would make a normal couple roll their eyes.
18. Claude Instructions for Rewriting JSON Packs
When Claude rewrites a pack:
ECHO Read the existing JSON first.
ECHO Preserve required schema unless told otherwise.
ECHO Preserve required counts unless told otherwise.
ECHO Improve wording, variety, and product feel.
ECHO Do not create repetitive template blocks.
ECHO Do not use weird phrasing.
ECHO Do not overuse therapy language.
ECHO Do not make sensitive prompts coercive.
ECHO Validate the final JSON.
ECHO Report count totals.
ECHO Report any schema changes.
Claude should not say a file is done unless:
ECHO The JSON parses.
ECHO The counts match.
ECHO IDs are unique.
ECHO Question texts are unique.
ECHO Free/premium counts match.
ECHO Type counts match.
ECHO The tone guide was followed.
19. Good Question Examples by Category
Date Night
What is a date we could plan this month that would feel easy but special?
What makes you feel like I really wanted time with you?
What kind of date helps you relax the fastest?
What is one date we should bring back?
What would make a regular night feel romantic?
Boundaries
When you need space, what helps you feel understood instead of distant?
What is one small boundary that would make our home feel calmer?
What topic do you wish we handled more gently?
What helps you feel trusted instead of checked up on?
What is one way we can protect our time together from outside stress?
Communication
What helps you open up when something is bothering you?
When do you feel easiest to talk to me?
What is one thing I could say more often?
What makes a hard conversation feel safer?
What helps you know I am really listening?
Fun
What is something silly we should do together soon?
What little adventure would make this week better?
What is an inside joke of ours that you still love?
What would make tonight feel less boring?
What is something we should try just because it sounds fun?
Trust
What small action helps you trust me more?
What makes an apology feel real to you?
What helps you feel reassured without having to ask twice?
What is one promise that matters a lot to you?
What helps us feel like we are on the same team?
Physical Intimacy
What kind of affection helps you feel closest to me?
When do you feel most comfortable being physically close?
What helps touch feel relaxed instead of expected?
What small affectionate habit would you like more of?
What makes cuddling or closeness feel safe and easy?
20. Final Standard
A finished Closer question pack should feel:
Human.
Warm.
Private.
Clear.
Useful.
Specific.
Enjoyable.
Respectful.
Worth paying for.
If a question does not help a couple feel closer, understand each other, laugh together, plan something, repair something, or feel safer with each other, it probably does not belong in Closer.
4. Fun-First Rule
Most Closer questions should feel enjoyable to answer.
That does not mean every question has to be silly, flirty, or light. Some packs cover serious topics like boundaries, trust, money, conflict, sex, and repair. But even serious packs should not feel like homework, interrogation, therapy intake forms, or emotional labor.
The user should usually feel one or more of these after answering:
Interested
Amused
Comforted
Wanted
Understood
Curious
Relieved
Closer
A Closer question should avoid making users feel:
Accused
Tested
Pressured
Drained
Embarrassed in a bad way
Like they are doing therapy homework
Like they are about to start a fight
Fun-First Balance by Pack Type
Use this as the default balance unless the pack has a special reason to be different.
| Pack type | Light / playful / easy | Meaningful / practical | Deeper |
|---|---|---|---|
| Fun, Date Night, Home Life | 60–70% | 20–30% | 10% |
| Boundaries, Trust, Conflict | 30–40% | 40–50% | 10–20% |
| Sex, Desire, Physical Intimacy | 40–50% | 30–40% | 10–20% |
| Money, Future, Values | 35–45% | 40–50% | 10–15% |
Fun Does Not Mean Shallow
A fun question can still reveal something real.
Weak:
What is your favorite color?
Better:
What color would you pick for a room that felt like us?
Weak:
What food do you like?
Better:
What meal would instantly make a night together feel better?
Weak:
What date sounds fun?
Better:
What is a low-effort date that would still make you excited to see me?
Serious Does Not Mean Heavy
Even serious topics should be written in a way that feels safe and answerable.
Too heavy:
What unresolved emotional wound affects our relationship dynamic?
Better:
What is one thing we could handle more gently with each other?
Too confrontational:
What do I do that makes you not trust me?
Better:
What small action helps you feel more secure with me?
Too clinical:
What communication structure would support healthier conflict resolution?
Better:
When we disagree, what helps us slow down before it turns into a fight?
Fun-First Review Questions
Before finalizing a pack, ask:
- Would this pack feel enjoyable to open after a long day?
- Are there enough easy questions to keep users from feeling drained?
- Would a couple want to compare answers?
- Does the pack include curiosity, play, warmth, or sweetness?
- Are the deeper questions spaced out enough?
- Does the pack still feel like Closer, not therapy homework?
If a pack feels too heavy, add more light, playful, practical, or curiosity-based questions.